party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
