she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
