sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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