On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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