can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
