Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
