just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
my liver is dry heaving
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
