He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
