the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
