And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
