all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
