is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
