He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
