Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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