Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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