i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
