he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
