I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
