the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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