FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
