ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
