Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
