You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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