im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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