how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
