I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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