Christians are straight up FREAKS
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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