I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
