Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
