i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
