got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
