My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
