Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize