Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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