A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
