Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
