What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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