Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
