They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
