I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
