i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
