I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
