lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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