how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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