i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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