How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
