Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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