end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
