Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
