stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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