She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
