ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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