We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
