guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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