I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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