smell my finger.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
